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  1. #1
    Registered User [BiA] Eaglefire's Avatar
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    Talking For men eyes only!!

    UNDERSTANDING FEMALE LOGIC


    A translation of what women say and what they really mean...

    "Yes" = No

    "No" = Yes

    "Maybe" = No

    "I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry

    "We need" = I want

    "It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now

    "Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later

    "We need to talk" = I need to complain

    "Sure go ahead" = I don't want you to

    "I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

    "You're so manly" = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

    "Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs

    "This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house

    "I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper

    "I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep

    "Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive

    "How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're going to hate

    "I'll be ready in a minute" = Just going to wash my hair

    "You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me

    "Are you listening to me!?" = Too late, you're dead

  2. #2
    Registered User [BiA] Eaglefire's Avatar
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    Slogans for Men´s T-shirt

    Why do women have smaller feet than men ?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    - How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart ?
    When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . . ."

    - If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
    The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

    - I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
    I don't like to interrupt her.

    - In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Neither God nor Man has rested since.

    - Why do men die before their wives ?
    They want to.



  3. #3
    Registered User BananPure's Avatar
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    lmao omg
    now all the girls will hunt you down
    RUUUN erik RUUUUUUUUUUN
    Pure (Sweden) Biggest nOOb ever....Free Birth

  4. #4
    Registered User [BiA] Eaglefire's Avatar
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    Well as long as they dont enter this thread...cause its for men eyes only...lol



    "We happy few, we band of brothers - for he today that sheds his blood with me - shall be my brother"
    - William Shakespear, King Henry V

  5. #5
    Registered User [BiA] Eaglefire's Avatar
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    Why Men Are Happier Than Women!

    1. We keep our last name.

    2. The garage is all ours.

    3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    4. Chocolate is just another snack.

    5. We can be president.

    6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

    7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.

    8. The world is our urinal.

    9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

    10. Same work, more pay.

    11. Wrinkles add character.

    12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.

    13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.

    14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

    15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.

    16. One mood, ALL the time.

    17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    18. We know stuff about tanks.

    19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    20. We can open all our own jars.

    21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.

    23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

    24. Everything on our face stays its original color.

    25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

    26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

    27. We almost never have strap problems in public

    28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.

    29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.

    30. We don't have to shave below our neck.

    31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.

    32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

    33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.

    34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

    Last edited by [BiA] Eaglefire; 12-27-2003 at 08:47 AM.

  6. #6
    Registered User [BiA] Eaglefire's Avatar
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    Words Women Use

    Study this and know it!

    FINE

    This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

    FIVE MINUTES

    This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

    NOTHING

    This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an
    argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'.

    GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

    This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

    GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

    This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

    LOUD SIGH

    This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

    SOFT SIGH

    Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

    THAT'S OKAY

    This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow.

    GO AHEAD.

    At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

    PLEASE DO

    This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful
    and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

    THANKS

    A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

    THANKS A LOT

    This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."




  7. #7
    Registered User [BiA] Eaglefire's Avatar
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    Originally posted by BananPure
    lmao omg
    now all the girls will hunt you down
    RUUUN erik RUUUUUUUUUUN

    I guess they dont read this thread cause it says that it is for our eyes only. However noOne had said that women can read.

  8. #8
    Registered User |BoB| Michael's Avatar
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    LMBFAO!!!!!

    you realy understand women erik and they stil complane..
    ILL BE BACK!!!!!!




  9. #9
    ..My god Eaglefire, you're a dead man ...
    They'll come to this thread, I'm sure of that after I invite them to
    POST!!
    [Coi]Mr.Fragwell® is property of Doc Rocket® and Michael®

    POST OR DIE!





  10. #10
    Bertie
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    Wait until Tam gets the hold of, you will be in the garage Erik

  11. #11
    explains a few things


    no wonder I dont get icecream anymore
    lol

  12. #12
    Registered User [BiA] Eaglefire's Avatar
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    Maybe i need to post a friendly thread next time.....naaaaah.

  13. #13
    Bertie
    Guest
    lol m8

  14. #14
    you think tam will be mad think of all of them oh my you are in for it




    but i do agree with everything that has been said
    0l\lLy L4m3r5 5p34l< L33t


  15. #15
    Registered User [BiA] Eaglefire's Avatar
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    Thank god she is sitting on the other side of the globe...



    "We happy few, we band of brothers - for he today that sheds his blood with me - shall be my brother"
    - William Shakespear, King Henry V

  16. #16
    Registered User BananPure's Avatar
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    well im still in sweden
    Pure (Sweden) Biggest nOOb ever....Free Birth

  17. #17
    Registered User [BiA] Eaglefire's Avatar
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    Originally posted by BananPure
    well im still in sweden
    Not for long

  18. #18
    Registered User [BiA] Eaglefire's Avatar
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    Hm wonder when she is gonna answer this thread...havent seen any reply.....but after all its a thread only for men...lol



    "We happy few, we band of brothers - for he today that sheds his blood with me - shall be my brother"
    - William Shakespear, King Henry V

  19. #19
    she is just scared


    she knows it true
    lol

  20. #20
    hehe u are a funny guy erik lmao hehe lol

  21. #21
    The same reason reason why women get married in white


    as it matches all kitchen appliences



    Question

    what have you done wrong if your wife comes and nags you about putting your feet on the table


    Answer

    made the chain from the kitchen too long
    lol

  22. #22
    Registered User [BiA] Eaglefire's Avatar
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    LOOOL



    "We happy few, we band of brothers - for he today that sheds his blood with me - shall be my brother"
    - William Shakespear, King Henry V

  23. #23
    [BiA] Leader [BiA] DarkAngel's Avatar
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    Thanks for making me understanding myself..LOL

    No hagas lo que no te guste que hagan a ti..


    LIFE IS TOO SHORT.. LOVE IS SEEING AN IMPERFECT PERSON, PERFECT!!

  24. #24
    heres one i heard though i hav to state i take no responsibility for this joke

    what do you do if ur missus is stumblin round the room covered in blood?



    Reload!
    For i have become the destroyer of worlds

  25. #25
    Registered User |AoD| Cpt.WeeD's Avatar
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    notice the women arnt dening anything



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