At launch, H1Z1 is a poor imitation of DayZ

[Administrator]

In a survival situation, the first step to salvation is to take off your t-shirt. Never mind the additional storage capacity a pocket-less t-shirt apparently provides - free your nipples! Let them breathe the open air as you tear that torso-tube into shreds. Then run to the nearest forest and press E on all the spry saplings to steal their sticks. Take your ripped t-shirt in one hand, the sticks in the other, and slap both hands together hard. If you've done it right, an exquisitely-fashioned hunting bow will appear suddenly in one of your four available slots (best not to dwell upon the location of said slots). Congratulations! Now get moving, because you've only got about half a day until you die of thirst and starvation at the same time.
It was at this point I began to wonder where the developers of H1Z1 sourced their survival facts. Did they check their survival guide was written by the Special Air Service, and not Surfers Against Sewage? Or had they been watching that knock-off Discovery Channel show Born Subsister, starring Wolf Ovyns?
By the time you read this, my facetious opening may well have become irrelevant. H1Z1 has been in constant flux since it released on Early Access last Friday, as the developers immediately addressed a slew of issues and complaints. My weekend with it was akin to appraising the ground during a landslide. Unfortunately, I fear my broader conclusions regarding the game will remain constant for the foreseeable future. It's fitting to talk about cheap knock-offs, because at present that's exactly what H1Z1 feels like.
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