Playing Civilization as Trump

[Administrator]

Let me tell you, no one is a biglier Civilization player than me. People always say to me - they say, Sarah, you are the most terrific Civilization player, the best. Some haters have said that this is not true and that Sarah is a very bad Civilization player but let me tell you, that is FAKE NEWS. FAKE NEWS, PEOPLE. We're going to Make Civilization Great Again. Say it with me. MAKE CIVILIZATION GREAT AGAIN. We're going to get rid of all those crooked politicians like Montezuma and Catherine de Medici (very nasty woman). We're going to put the bigliest and most smart man of all in charge. We're going to play Civilization as Donald Trump.
Trump has been in office for just over six months, which I think is long enough to work out some ground rules for his leadership. First of all: be impulsive. It's very, very important to act on every fleeting appetite and sense of slight. Secondly: nothing matters as much as reputation. If someone offends you, double down and keep on doubling until you've folded that flimsy little offense up as thick as the observable universe. Thirdly: do not worry about your outgoings. Donald Trump might be rich, but he isn't exactly a money-maker. Spend, spend, spend. Fourthly: don't be too interested in the game. Maybe play a round of golf between turns, or even during. Fifthly: keep the research interests in character. Yes to construction and guns. No to reading and travel.
Fire up Steam, choose Teddy Roosevelt, listen to the inspiring Sean Bean intro: "Surely you will raise America into the limelight and attract visitors from across the oceans just to see your lands. Bully for you, Mr. President." Not bloody likely, Sean, I am going to build a massive wall and ban Muslims. But there is a problem. At around 500BC, just as I've whimsically started a war with the city state of Toronto, my PC's heat sink fails and it starts whirring furiously and then clunking to a halt. A bit like, say, the overextended heart of a flaccid 71-year-old who mostly subsists on buckets of KFC. At the same time, in the real world, Trump is pulling out of the Paris accords on climate change. I reassure myself that my tech issues are not a planetary omen by screaming into a pillow.
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